| Name: | The Holy Assassins of the Ivory Skeleton |
| Goal: | spread the true story of Jesus |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | coke |
| Headquarters: | abandoned military base in Guam |
| Commander: | The Grand Director |
| Minion: | "adept" |
| Axiom: | "To do is to be." |
| Beliefs: |