| Name: | The Institute of the Scandium Lance |
| Goal: | destroy the English language through division into multiple dialects |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | diversified mutual funds |
| Headquarters: | space station orbiting earth |
| Commander: | The Distinguished Cardinal |
| Minion: | "acorn" |
| Axiom: | "Every man and every woman is a star." |
| Beliefs: |
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