| Name: | The Illuminates of the First Octopus |
| Goal: | destroy all Elvis impersonators |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | strip mines in Africa |
| Headquarters: | Los Angeles |
| Commander: | The Great Chiliarch |
| Minion: | "soldier" |
| Axiom: | "This statement is false." |
| Beliefs: |
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