| Name: | The Band of the Revealed Phoenix |
| Goal: | overthrow toastmasters |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | beauty contest winnings |
| Headquarters: | mall recruiting office in Witchita |
| Commander: | The Champion Captain |
| Minion: | "trooper" |
| Axiom: | "I am not a unique and beautiful snowflake." |
| Beliefs: |
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