| Name: | The Ordained Sect of the Toad |
| Goal: | combine pig and elephant DNA |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | secret shopper work |
| Headquarters: | a church in Utah |
| Commander: | The Absolute Matriarch |
| Minion: | "congregant" |
| Axiom: | "Life is short." |
| Beliefs: |
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