Your occult organization:

Name: The Satanic Guild of the Clay Staff
Goal: secede Texas from the USA
Methods:
Income source: prostitution
Headquarters: Tokyo karaoke bar
Commander: The Mighty Oligarch
Minion: "neophyte"
Axiom: "Gabba gabba hey."
Beliefs:
  • computers are the next dominant life form
  • Area 51 was a story invented to cover the tracks of the Illuminati
  • cancer was engineered by the US government
  • gold is the source of all psychic energy

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