| Name: | The Gnostic Federation of the Infernal Macintosh |
| Goal: | add spider DNA to the general human gene pool |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | skimming girl scout cookie sales |
| Headquarters: | Denang |
| Commander: | The Prime Premier |
| Minion: | "scholar" |
| Axiom: | "I'm OK, you're OK." |
| Beliefs: |
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