Your occult organization:

Name: The Eminent Coalition of the Osmium Elephant
Goal: destroy the Catholic Church
Methods:
  • nuclear weapons
  • attaining inner peace
  • fatty foods
Income source: taxi business
Headquarters: abandoned NYC subway tunnel
Commander: The Kahuna
Minion: "cohort"
Axiom: "We are all fucked."
Beliefs:
  • gold is the source of all psychic energy
  • the telephone is a cover story for actual worldwide telepathy
  • velveeta was engineered by secret jews at the center of the earth

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