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Name:
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The Secret Federation of the Morning Eagle |
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Goal:
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destroy the sun |
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Methods:
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- fuckloads of cash
- junkies with inline skates and machettes
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Income source:
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conflict diamonds |
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Headquarters:
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temple of gold in the a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yucatan">Yucatan |
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Commander:
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The Holy Impissimus |
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Minion:
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"scholar" |
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Axiom:
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"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade." |
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Beliefs:
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- bananas came from alien seeds in a meteor
- the spirits of the dead live on inside of canned food
- only anal sex can stop forest fires
- scientologists are in control of all LSD production
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