Your occult organization:

Name: The Cursed House of the Glade
Goal: enslave the human race to create widgets for aliens
Methods:
Income source: skimming girl scout cookie sales
Headquarters: moon base
Commander: The Governor
Minion: "winner"
Axiom: "I am the walrus."
Beliefs:
  • water is the source of all divine contact
  • teenage mutant ninja turtles are real
  • carrots are the poisonous food of underground carnivorous humanoid dwellers
  • demons walk the earth in the form of Jehova's Witnesses

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