Your occult organization:

Name: The Mystic Lodge of the God
Goal: destroy all other occult organizations
Methods:
  • ancient Greek psychic manuals
  • hidden cameras
  • free sunglasses
Income source: mowing lawns
Headquarters: somewhere in Mongolia
Commander: The Main Principal
Minion: "pupil"
Axiom: "There is no supernatural force."
Beliefs:
  • cancer was engineered by the US government
  • only through sex with ferrets can we reach godhood
  • Area 51 was a story invented to cover the tracks of the Illuminati
  • all email is read by an enslaved alien at FEMA headquarters

Note: Some results are not for kids. Some links NSFW.

Try again!
Suggestions?
Home?