Your occult organization:

Name: The Satanic Order of the Pine Mirror
Goal: secede Texas from the USA
Methods:
  • pouring salt on slugs
  • mind control drugs in girl scout cookies
  • militarized aspartame
Income source: eBay
Headquarters: undiscovered pacific island
Commander: The Commanding General
Minion: "catechumen"
Axiom: "I think therefore I am."
Beliefs:
  • pilates instructors are all controlled by brain wave generators at local libraries
  • human society would be better off without shoes

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