| Name: | The Erisian Assassins of the Luminous Lizard |
| Goal: | control the Repulican Party |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | reselling stolen bikes on craigslist |
| Headquarters: | home office in Pittsburgh |
| Commander: | The Most Grand President |
| Minion: | "adept" |
| Axiom: | "I'm OK, you're OK." |
| Beliefs: |
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