Your occult organization:

Name: The Exalted Sanctuary of the Ivory Cup
Goal: Get off the damn planet
Methods:
  • henchmen wearing
  • guns
Income source: patent licenses for RealDoll
Headquarters: orbiting space station
Commander: The Commanding Sacristan
Minion: "inmate"
Axiom: "contradiction is the key to elightenment"
Beliefs:
  • bananas came from alien seeds in a meteor
  • beer was invented by penguins
  • all humans are a waste

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