| Name: | The Altruistic Sanctuary of the Oaken Sepulcher |
| Goal: | overthrow the Boy Scouts |
| Methods: |
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| Income source: | large inherritance |
| Headquarters: | treehouse in central Chicago |
| Commander: | The Royal Polemarch |
| Minion: | "blood" |
| Axiom: | "Nothing is sacred." |
| Beliefs: |
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